The Best Thing about being a Celebrity are the Celebrity Friends. Celebrity Friends who are always empathetic and dependable. 10 Motivational Lessons For Ishant Sharma! by friends who Care!
Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a seriously hurt man. He felt all the criticism faced by his all time favorite bowler Ishant Sharma was totally uncalled for. He feels it is the criticism that is responsible for Ishant’s woes and not his bowling. Hence the Indian Captain has invited several luminaries and motivational speakers to help Ishant come out of the rut he is stuck in after finishing that single legendary spell to Ricky Ponting half a dozen years ago.
People are more than willing to help because Ishant is a Sharma and not a Tiwari or Mishra. Hence motivational output is pouring in. We’ve presented some of them here for the benefit of mankind.
Rahul Gandhi, Who took 20 years to Manage his Anger
My mother has attended parliament in pain. She was almost breathless. Players should be ready to play in pain and think only about the party, oops I mean the team. Bowling short is a state of mind. One can come out of it if he has will power. You need escape velocity to pitch it full.
Digvijaya Singh, Congress’s Loyal Soldier
I believe Ishant is a truly secular boy. He is 100% tunch maal. He isn’t denying room to the minorities. Look at Jadeja who hails from communal Modi’s state and he has been mostly miserly towards the Australians. It is completely wrong to deny a batsman’s right to score runs.
Manish Tiwari, Congress Spokesperson for Every situation
Holistically speaking, Ishant needs to work on his technique and mind in a holistic manner. He can be a holistic bowler only if he listens to advice from Rahul Gandhiji.
Narendra Modi, BJP’s PM Candidate, the NaMo Teashop Chai Wala
When the Australians were attacking India, look at what Gujarat has done. Pride of Gujarat Jadeja alone has controlled them. Ishant was as bad as Sheila Dixit’s government. I always believed in India first. Mohammed Shami Ahmed’s performance proves my belief. There is no Hindu or Muslim but only Indian.
Kapil Sibal, aka Arnab Goswami’s Teacher
We can prove it was not 30 runs but much lesser. Ishant Sharma needs to apply my ‘Zero Loss’ theory. If we take the zero out, it will be like 3 runs. Right-wing extremists like RSS and BJP are responsible for this gross exaggeration. They just want to divide the country.
Shah Rukh Khan, who’s name is Khan
Hmmm. Nggggg. You have 10 overs. If you put in everything you have into those 10 overs, nobody can snatch those 10 overs from you. Not even Sachin Tendulkar. If nothing works, remember Ishant sounds so much like Sreesanth. So change your name to Rahul. Oops no, no, no, no, that makes you Rahul Sharma and that reminds me of grass. We’ll change it to Raj. Oh yes, Raj Sharma is perfect. If you can add Singhania that will be perfect. Try that and I am sure nobody can beat you in those 70 minutes. Nobody !
Manmohan Singh, Who is not above Indian Law
The minorities have first rights over the resources of the nation. So Australians being minority here will walk away with more runs. If I can’t keep track of the lost files how can I keep track of the lost balls ? People will insult you and call you ‘Dehati Aurat’. But you must learn to live without bothering about such criticism and carry on believing in Madam. Theek Hai !
Salman Khan, who encourages even his Girlfriends call him Bhai
Brother, you are so much like me. What hairstyle you have. You remind me of my own ‘Tere Naam’. Both of us are so alike. People hate us and yet we do what we do best. I deliver short dialogues in heights of drama and you deliver short balls in heights of Sharma. Once you make a commitment, you don’t listen to yourself. You bowl at the length you have committed. Only difference is the height itself !
Mallika Sherawat, who recently is infatuated by a Chai Wala
Ishant is cute and he is second most eligible bachelor in India after Narendra Modi-ji. I would like to do a shampoo commercial with him and motivate him to do better. I will also sing the happy birthday song for him and post on Youtube.
But the most worthy and practical motivational advice was given by…
Kareena Kapoor Khan, who is secretive about Karva Chauth Vrat
See, you end up bowling short or length balls because you aim to bowl length or yorker. Easily satisfied ? Aim for full-tosses and beamers and you will bowl in the block-hole. Pyaas Badhaao !